I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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