Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
