You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
