she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
