Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize