He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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