Cold hands, warm shart.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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