Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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