it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
