Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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