I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
