Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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