I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
