My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
