i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
