Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
