i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
