you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
