I puked a lego.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
