The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
