i think my tv is drunk
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
