yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Someone signed my nipple.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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