I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
