dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize