I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
