Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
