u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
