I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
