Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
