Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
