Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
