If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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