Joe is yelling at the trees again.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
