i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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