just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
