Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
