walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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