I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
