Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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