I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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