After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize