do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
