He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
