i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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