Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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