I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
