Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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