uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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