New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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