Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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