Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
