i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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