Your mouth is God's brothel.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
