girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I think my moral compass just broke
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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