He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My vagina just clenched in fear
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
