hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
