your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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